There are both good and bad things about being a single woman later in life, though living free is not always the lady’s choice. Years and years may pass, and relationships fail to find us. That doesn’t mean we don’t want companionship, it just hasn’t happened to us yet. Often, the time and place just never feel right for establishing that love connection, or maybe a worthy companion has yet to appear.

Regardless of the circumstances, there’s one thing that single women never want to hear, and that’s relationship advice. Sure, it’s fine if we ask for it, but otherwise, do us all a nice favor and keep your opinions to yourself. Your intentions may be noble, but your assumptions and attempted assurances are really just reminders of exactly how lonely we single women are. Trust me. Whatever you have to say, we’ve heard it all before. Here’s a list of 30 things you really shouldn’t say to a single woman, as told by the lovely ladies over at our Japanese sister site, Pouch:

1. “It’s great that you have so much freedom.” Yup. All that freedom and nothing to do.

2. “You’re not really interested in marriage, huh?” Oh, I really am.

3. “You live for your work, I see.” Only because there’s not much else going on.

4.”Don’t you have someone special in your life?” Nope.

5. “Surely there’s someone!” Show me where.

6. “I take it you’re not interested in love.” I am.

7. You’ve just got to be assertive.” Then I insist you give me some real relationship advice.

8. “If you’re looking for luxury, a guy will be really hard to find.” I never said that I was.

9. “Give it some effort!” …Sorry

10. “You’ve got to set up your own dates!” With whom, exactly?

11. “Oh sorry, this is all marriage talk, so you wouldn’t really know.” Sorry for not being married.

12. “You should try having kids soon.” I’d need a partner first.

13. “You sure like spending time alone.” Not really

14. “Is it fun spending all of your time alone?” Fun’s not really the issue here.

15. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I wish I knew.

16. [If a younger sibling gets married first] “Sorry. If we were doing in order, you should have been first.” No, it’s my fault for taking so long.

17. “Is there no one at work that you’re interested in?” They’re all married.

18. “Why not get your friends to introduce you to some people?” That would require friends already outside of my circle.

19. “You just haven’t found the right person yet” Thank you for the attempt at assurance.

20. “Maybe you already know them but just haven’t realized it!” Please stop before I punch you.

21. “You’re still young. Enjoy yourself!” …Will do.

22. “Wow! So you don’t mind going to movies and stuff alone?” Can’t help it. No one to go with.

23. “When will you get married?” Sometime after I find a boyfriend.

24. “Is it true you don’t have any friends?” Obviously you don’t consider yourself one.

25. “Because you’re alone, you can eat what you want, go where you want, and do whatever you want. Being alone sounds great!” Sure, except for the alone part.

26. “The years have gone by so fast!” And they will continue to fly by, I’m sure.

27. “So, what do you even do on your free days?” I dunno…walk?

28. “But there’s plenty of guys around!” I’ve noticed.

29. “If only you weren’t working all the time.” It’s not that I can’t. Working is preferable to self-pity.

30. “Sure enough, it’s easier to live alone.” Indeed! Now drop subject. We’re done here.